Reality of the situation.
People have the opportunity to learn about relationships during adolescence, but it’s not officially “taught.” Sometimes it’s even discouraged.
Schools teach sex-ed, attempt to encourage abstinence, but ignore relationships. Whether dating is encouraged, discouraged or tolerated, it isn’t a subject taught at school. The subject is entirely avoided, and children learn that simply-asking about dating isn’t okay. Children are forced to figure it out, if they can’t… well, too bad.
This is really, really bad. I’d love to start or be apart-of a revolution that adds this type of education to the American high-school curriculum, but with so many education cutbacks, I’m pretty-sure that that won’t happen. At least not anytime soon.
However, there’s a stigma against the topic altogether, and that needs to go. People are ridiculed over the mere admission that “they need help” with dating, relationships and/or sex.
Especially men. “Real men” can’t admit to “not knowing what to do.” They’re not allowed to say, “I need help getting a date.”
Well, why is online (semi-anonymous) dating such a big industry? I know why anonymity is such an important part.
I’m here to say, that you aren’t any less of a person because this stuff hasn’t come naturally to you. You shouldn’t feel ashamed. You don’t need to hide. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to be here. It’s normal, it’s good even, that you want to be a better person. I’m glad that you want to have better relationships, that you want to have better sex. I’m glad you’re here reading this, I’m happy to write it. Society needs to be okay with openly talking and sharing this information.
Tags: About, dating, education, learning, relationships, sex, sharing
May 5th, 2008 at 2:52 am
Not only is it wrong and bad in general that children are not “allowed” to ask about dating or healthy relationships, it’s even worse that children are forced to learn about relationships through the only source often left-over– the media.
Thus, children get the impression that not only is it okay to have a relationship full of cheating, abuse, and dishonesty, but that it’s also the norm. Dramas, movies, and commercials have changed how kids view relationships. It’s harder for them to realize that being abusive is wrong, and that it’s nearly impossible to meet your soulmate for the first time and within 3 days fall madly in love and get married that week and make it work (so often the case in movies).
May 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Are there any specific movies, dramas, tv series’ or other “media” you’d like to reference? I’m sure that actual examples will help, not that I disagree with where you’re going. Without specific citations, your opinion is too-easily challenged.
There are many shows with decent models of what relationships should be. There was nothing whirlwind about “Studio 60“, and I can’t see “Gilmore Girls” being a bad-influence.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:44 am
One of the examples that I’ll point out is one that impacted me when I was younger. The movie Titanic involves Jack and Rose, two characters from completely different backgrounds, yet, upon meeting, a few days later, not only has Rose completely fallen for Jack, she also wants to marry him and be with him forever, and these types of expectations just aren’t realistic in the real world.
I remember being confused by that particular plot line, and wondered if true love, or even a relationship, implied making out at every possible opportunity and having sex in your fiance’s car with someone else.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:48 am
My perception of things: Bad relationships on TV = drama = viewers = ratings = money.
The side effect? The young viewers look up to these shows as “models” of an ideal relationship and in turn, mimic it on their own. The Hills, Laguna Beach, Temptation Island, Soap Operas, blah blah. They see the MTV drama garbage and think that a relationship is an image and if they do not fit that image, they cannot have a successful relationship. This is why I hate modern day MTV - its as if you do not fit a certain image, you won’t stand a chance with the woman of your dreams.
Fuck that. Society is too ingrained into an image that they spend time tweaking and improving their image instead of their person. Mystery said in an interview with David D that “If you can’t [pick up women] in jeans and a t-shirt, then you can’t do it at all.” Which is why I strongly stand in the reconstruction of a deep inner self, but that’s another long discussion.
Good relationships don’t equal ratings and don’t equal money.